You make friends. You lose friends. You lose hope. You tell yourself everything is going to be ok but it's not. You find someone you really admire. They make you happy even though deep down you feel sad. Don't be sad. You can't help it. It always keeps coming back. You fall in love with someone who lives miles and miles away. You slowly gain faith again. You tell them you love them after a few months and drinks. They love you back. You don't want to be with anyone else. No one else matters really. Each time you see each other, it's magical. Each time you leave each other, it's miserable. But you're not going to give up. You're too strong enough already even though you feel weak. The anxiety comes. The depression settles in. Sometimes you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You're going to collapse if you don't find the light. Your body is in pain. The drugs don't work. Drinking won't help enough. Nothing works. You are sick with love. You're not going to give up. You can't help it. Don't let anyone tell you to give up. Don't let them win. Because nothing is real. This all just a bad dream and you're going to wake up one day.
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